Reviews Index
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BLAKES 7 SERIES 1
Having always been a closet fan of this show (it was always on UK Gold after the Doctor Who repeats) I thought I might splash out and purchas...
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HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
And so the madness of king Harry rolls into town again. I must admit I didn't go and see CHAMBER OF SECRETS at the cinema, after I fell ou...
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HELLBOY
I ROBOT
It's a Will Smith sci-fi summer blockbuster and suddenly everything's right with the world again. You know the score, we've seen it time ...
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LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
If your are planning on going to see a happy, festive film over the holidays, perhaps it would be best to avoid LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF ...
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MOVIE OUTLOOK 2004
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RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALPSE
I’ve been spending a lot of time with zombies lately - and that’s not including my day job. I’ve recently caught up (at last) with Geor...
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SPIDER-MAN 2
Two years ago, you may recall, I was a little bit under whelmed by Sam Raimi's first SPIDER-MAN movie. Although I was as pleased as the ne...
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TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
I’m not a fan of musicals as such but I know what I like. I loved - to the point of splitting at the sides - SOUTH PARK - THE MOVIE a few years ...
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THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
Let me break this to you as gently as I can; THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK is rubbish. I'm trying to save you from yourself here. It's not rubbi...
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THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Now this is more like it! With the summer season having got off to a distinctly underpowered start with the feeble VAN HELSING, it's a pleasure ...
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THE GRUDGE
Aieee!! THE GRUDGE is bloody terrifying. I’m a big tough bloke and I don’t scare easily but this tense, sparse remake of the classic Japanese h...
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THE INCREDIBLES
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THE VILLAGE
Its an interesting point to make that while M. Night Shyamalan's films have all been big hitters at the box office (THE SIXTH SENSE, UNBREAKA...
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THUNDERBIRDS
This was always going to be one of the most difficult reviews I’ve ever written for scifind. I mean this is THUNDERBIRDS. This is the (appare...
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VAN HELSING
Riddle me this: when is a horror film not a horror film? When it's directed by Stephen Sommers, of course!! You may not think it's the fun...
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WHITE NOISE
If you've been wondering - and you might have done, for all I know - where former Batman Michael Keaton has been all these years, here's a clue....
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ALIEN V PREDATOR
This really should be on of the worst movies ever made. Really it should. A bastard offspring of one generally highly-regarded SF movie franchis...
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ALIEN – THE DIRECTOR'S CUT
As this disappointing summer of distinctly average blockbusters draws to a close, it's nice to welcome back – for a limited period only, admittedly...
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AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Realistically speaking, there was no way that this latest big budget version of Jules Verne's classic adventure romp was ever going to be a h...
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BIG FISH
With the horribly impersonal mess that was PLANET OF THE APES (2001) director Tim Burton broke a chain of great movies that included cl...
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CYPHER
Well there go ninety-five minutes of my life I'll never get back. Director Vincenzo Natali made quite a splash a couple of years ago with his claus...
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DAREDEVIL
I'm always wary of big-budget, high-profile Hollywood blockbusters which come out in February or March. Aren't they good enough to be trusted in t...
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DARKNESS FALLS
"What I took before in kindness, I will take forever in revenge."Director Jonathan Liebesman's first full-length feature film won't win any awards...
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DEAD END
DEAD END appears to be just the latest in a long line of modern horror flicks about people lost in the great American outdoors being terrorised...
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FINAL DESTINATION 2
>It's one year since Alix Browning, Clear Rivers and some of their assorted school chums escaped a fiery death when their plane, destined for Pari...
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GHOST SHIP
GHOST SHIP. It does what it says on the tin. Lovers of cheap fright-free horror flicks may go a bundle on this one but, like most modern horror m...
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GOTHIKA
In three or four months time someone may ask you if you saw that Halle Berry film; you know, the spooky one, Gothicy or something… I guarantee tha...
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HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
Prepare to breathe a sigh of relief, JK Rowling fans. Chris Columbus, who so nearly fumbled the ball last year with the somewhat-flat PHILOSOPHER’...
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JAMES BOND: DIE ANOTHER DAY
SPOILER ALERT!!!! “You’re a rare challenge Mr Bond….” Forty years ago, a modestly budgeted thriller called Dr No was shot in Jamaica by a ...
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JEEPERS CREEPERS 2
Two years ago Victor Salva gave the idling horror genre a kick up the cadaver with the original JEEPERS CREEPERS, a terror flick of two halves whic...
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JOHNNY ENGLISH
Based on Rowan Atkinson's spoof bungling superspy of the TV Barclaycard ads a few years back, JOHNNY ENGLISH sees the former BLACKADDER genius b...
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LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER - THE CRADLE OF LIFE
“Hello boys. You’re all wet.”Having spectacularly tanked at the US Box office and having attracted the sort of notices usually reserved for infecti...
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MEN IN BLACK 2
In retrospect, it may have been a mistake to watch the original 1997 MEN IN BLACK again the night before seeing the much-awaited sequel. I only d...
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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
At last! At last!!! A summer blockbuster which genuinely busts some blocks. A summer blockbuster without a number at the end of its title, unencum...
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SHAUN OF THE DEAD
One of the better British sitcoms of recent vintage has undoubtedly been SPACED, Channel 4's wickedly funny slacker comedy about two unlikely flatm...
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SHREK 2
2001’s SHREK was a curious beast. Created by DreamWorks rather than Mouse House supremos Pixar, it was an odd, sometimes ungainly CGI extravagan...
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SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
TERMINATOR 3
"She'll be back."They said it couldn't be done. They said it shouldn't be done. But Hollywood can never really leave a franchise alone so they went...
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THE CORE
Ah, I remember the heady days of 1999. You could see roughly two disaster films a week about giant comets heading towards the Earth and still ...
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THE HULK
"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."I have a general rule when it comes to films. They're either good or they're bad. It's not rocket science but...
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THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN
Some ideas look good on paper. Some go on to look good on film too. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN may have been a wonderfully-inventive com...
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THE LORD OF THE RINGS:THE RETURN OF THE KING
Wow. I could probably leave it there really. You’re going to see THE RETURN OF THE KING whatever the reviews say - and they’ve all bee...
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THE MATRIX RELOADED
"Mr Anderson!" Ding ding, round one. Well here it is folks, the film most of us have been waiting over four years for, (with the exception of Star W...
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THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS
"Everything that has a beginning has an end. . ."Six months on from RELOADED and the world has changed. In half a year, things on the Matrix front h...
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TIMELINE
Let’s get something straight from the start. TIMELINE isn’t anything like as bad a movie as the press - both popular and genre - have tried to m...
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UNDERWORLD
"You're in the middle of a war between Vampires and Lycan's. . ."My god THE MATRIX has a lot to answer for. Since its release in 1999, the multi...
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WILLARD
Make no mistake, this classy, eerie remake of the forgotten early '70's horror chiller about a boy and his pet rats isn't going to be one of t...
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X MEN 2
It's probably ironic, really. Back in the 1970s I was pretty much obsessed my comic books in general and Marvel Comics in particular. Spider-Man, ...
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XXX (TRIPLE X)
Saving Private Ryan. Pitch Black. The Fast And The Furious. A dream introduction for an up and coming mega-star or what? With that trilogy of exce...
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AEON FLUX
Aeon Flux comes to the big screen out of a series of MTV short animations, one of the more successful attempts at western anime. Despite its music...
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CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Whenever the subject of the ‘new’ CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY is raised, I seem to be the only person who thinks the seventies ‘original’ (WIL...
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DOOM
Apparently based on ID software’s “genre-defining” shoot-em-up computer game, DOOM is…well, what can I say? It’s a film we’ve all seen far too many ti...
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FANTATIC FOUR
When Pixar Animation’s THE INCREDIBLES was released last Winter, several industry pundits and numerous comic book fans commented on the film’s cheeky ...
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GHOST RIDER
Flaming skulls! Here’s the first of this year’s slew of superhero movies and what a pleasure to report that writer/director Mark Steven ...
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HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE
Year four at Hogwart’s and things are looking decidedly dark for young super-wizard Harry Potter – in more ways than one. This time out Harry not only...
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KING KONG
You’re Peter Jackson. You’ve just finished directing a trilogy of films which might well change the face of modern film-making forever. You’ve certain...
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LAND OF THE DEAD
George A Romero gives another reason to be cremated in this ultra gory, slick zombie action movie.
It has been many years since the events of Night...
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POSEIDON
Why? Why?? Why??? Why does Hollywood feel the need, year after year, to remake and remodel? In 1972 Irwin Allen virtually invented the ‘disaster m...
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SERENITY
(some spoilers, so be warned)
I came to the preview screening of this uber-hyped movie cold. Unlike the excited morass of bobble hat wearing fans...
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SIN CITY
"Hell of a way to end a partnership"
If SIN CITY is anything to go by, then black and white is the new colour. Robert Rodriguez, alongside com...
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SNAKES ON A PLANE
SNAKES ON A PLANE, on the face of it, seems to be the sort of film you find cluttering up the shelves of your local video emporium, usually alongs...
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STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH
WARNING SPOILERS
Few films enjoy hype and build up quite on the scale of a Star Wars movie. The Phantom Menace saw people start to queue up months ...
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SUPERMAN RETURNS
I admit I was one of the unbelievers who really didn’t see the point in yet another film version – or indeed, any version – of the exploits of the m...
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THE DESCENT
Potholing. Can there be a more pointless past-time known to Man – other than watching BIG BROTHER or listening to the second Lighthouse Family album?...
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THE HILLS HAVE EYES
How times have changed. Back in the early days of the home video explosion – I’m talking late ‘70s, early ‘80s – there were a string of films known as...
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THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
“I wonder if it wants to be friends with me?”
Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) wakes up one morning to find that the council want to knock his house do...
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THE ISLAND
Michael Bay is the Devil. Apparently. He appears to be the most hated, sneered-at, slagged-off Director in Hollywood. No-one’s got a good word to say ...
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THE LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN'S APOCALYPSE
Now I’m as big a fan of TV’s LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN as the next local person but even I’m a bit bemused by their first big screen outing. What the Hell’s...
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THE WICKER MAN
Obviously any attempt at remaking an absolute classic like Robin Hardy’s 1973 thriller THE WICKER MAN is doomed to some sort of failure before the len...
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V FOR VENDETTA
I’m sorry I can’t resist. It says V FOR VENDETTA on the credits and on the poster but for me this was strictly A FOR AWFUL. It was also B FOR BORING, ...
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WAR OF THE WORLDS
“This is extermination!”
Just this once I won’t beat about the bush. I’ll get straight to the point. Go and see WAR OF THE WORLDS. Go and see i...
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X MEN 3: THE LAST STAND
Fanboys all over the world were known to have gnashed their teeth and clenched their fists in frustration when the architect of the previous two big...
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